Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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