SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize