im about as happy as oj after his trial
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
