He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
