this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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