I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
