very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
my liver is dry heaving
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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