My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You were trust falling into bushes
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
