when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
