u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
