I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
