Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
