Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
