Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize