Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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