you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
