is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
