Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
