We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
