He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
