yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
40s are totally the cure
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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