Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
