Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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