She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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