This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
