I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
party gras won. party gras always wins.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
