I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
