Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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