Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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