took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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