I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
