Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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