So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
