If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
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