i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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