So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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