i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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