Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
