I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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