okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
home. puking in laundry basket.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
