Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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