I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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