As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
