You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
