Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
