Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
