Your tits are I can't wait for
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
