therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
