Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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