He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
