I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I bet he comes in French.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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