so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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