it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
