guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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