but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
