I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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