Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
