And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
