DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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