woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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